In the Beginning.... 2010

First let me start out by saying I feel if you love someone anything is possible. No distance, no religion, no amount of time, nothing can keep you from being together as long as you have patience. I don’t advice praying for patience, because that only brings more problems into your life, I would advice praying for wisdom instead... hehe

I met my fiance a while back, he was living in the UK and I was living in the US, we had a mutual friend on facebook and from there we began a friendship online. My fiance saw that I was going to India to work in and orphanage and his uncle owns and orphanage in India so we had that in common. We also both have a common interest for orphans in general and in Jesus Christ.

I have come to find out that when you become friends with 1 Indian you very quickly become friends will all of there friends too. I found myself having 5 and 6 friend request a day on facebook from friends of my friends of my friends. I would wake up and check my facebook and have many messages in my in-box most of them very inappropriate and I would just delete them. Don’t get me wrong I’m not stereotyping “Indians” at all, I believe people are just people no matter where you live or what color your skin is, I just happen to come in counter with a few inappropriate Indian boys. I say boys because a real man, no matter where you are from, would not speak to a lady how I was spoken too.

One day I got a in-box message on my facebook and it was from another Indian, I don’t say that being mean at all, I was just used to getting messages so I didn’t think anything of it really and I almost deleted it. But something (God) told me to read it, and it was  very simple he introduced himself to me said that he was interested in orphans like I was and a few other simple things in it. A few days letter I replied to him and then a few days latter he replied to me and one day we started to chat on facebook. I’m not sure what came over me one day as we were chatting, but all of the sudden I said “do you want to Skype one day?” then instantly I followed that up with “but we don’t have too, if you don’t want to.” I was just nervous right after I said that for some reason, and I didn’t really know why???

I think in my head I felt like this was a guy who lived over seas, and what would really come out of this? I had never "internet dated" before, much less a guy in the UK?? and when he told me where he was from, I had never even hear of the city he lived in. Then how would I tell my parents that I met a guy on the internet, and Oh wait... here’s the kicker... he lives in the UK... If you know my parents at all they are computer challenged for sure, we didn’t even get an answering machine in our house till early in 2004.

Anyways, very quickly Tom (My fiances American name) caught my attention, the first time I “saw” him per-say was on Skype, in fact we Skyped for something like 4 hours the first time. Then the next night we skyped again and then he called me on the phone the day after that, and I found myself wanting to know more and more about this guy.

We probably only talked for a week or so before we decided we wanted to be couple. We talked about it and started dating, I told my mom and dad sometime in December about him, I had to slowly start talking about him then spring the whole dating thing on them. My father simple said if your happy than I’m happy, but you know I don’t understand this whole “internet dating” thing cant you just meet a guy around here like normal people? Again that’s my dad who knows nothing about the internet or even cell phones for that matter. He didn’t have anything against Tom he just didn’t understand what we were doing.

I cant even really say for sure when I knew I wanted to marry him but I know it was not long after we started dating that I knew God had put this man in my life for a reason. You see the day before Tom sent me that email, I had gone to church in the morning and my pastor was talking about how we need to surround ourselves with christian friends and Christ like people and how if you are single you need to embrase your singleness. So I went to bed that night and I prayed that God put a christian friend in my life, Tom is a christian too by the way. I joke with my mom sometimes and say I guess I needed to be a tad more specific when I pray, I only said I would like it if I could meet some good Christian people please. I was thinking in Ohio, maybe even around the town I live in, but God sent me someone form the UK... lol...

By no means am I complaining about this at all, I love Tom with all my heart, I believe when God made me and he made Tom he saw us together. In the bible it say a man will leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife, that does not mean never speak to your family again it just means you are starting a new life with your wife and children.

By January we had decided that we were getting married and he was going to ask my father if he could marry me. My dad knew what he was going to do, I kind of informed him of what was going on, my dad only had a few questions for me before he spoke to Tom. He asked me if I loved him? And if I wanted to marry him? I said yes I did love him and yes I do want to marry him.

You should of saw Tom, he was so cute the day he asked my dad if we could get married, and granted it was via Skype because of our situation, but he was looking handsome. You know when you first start dating someone you always try to look your best, no matter if its 6am or 4pm or whatever. I remember Skyping with him when he was in the UK at 6 or 7am and I looked like a million bucks, my hair all done and my makeup on and ironed clothes I would even bush my teeth right before we skyped like he could smell my breath or something. By January I would roll out of bed turn the computer on, forget to even look at my hair, and chat with him. So when I saw him with his button up shirt on and his hair brushed and he shaved, oh my gosh he was looking so handsome.

My dad agreed with us getting married, he just said I want to meet Tom as soon ask possible, because even at this point I have not met Tom in person. Tom was going to be leaving The U.K and going back to India the end of February and I was planning a trip to go to Indian in March. So we planned for him to fly into the city where I was staying and we would travel for about a week together.

I could not wait for March to come, I counted down every day and every night, till we got to meet. Once I got into India that was when I really know I was head over heals in love with this man, because he was so good with me. When we (my friend when to the orphanage with me) were at the airport in Delhi I talked to Tom probably 10 times before we got to the orphanage. He is such a patience man with me, at one point I wanted to cry, because I was exhausted to begin with and overwhelmed too. He told me to calm down everything will be okay, you are fine Babe, remember God is always with you.

Finally the day came when we could meet!!!! Oh my gosh I was so excited just to touch him and look at him, not over the computer either. When I saw him I didn’t know if I was going to cry or smile or be in shock or what. I remember standing outside of this little airport in Chandigarh Indian and looking through the 2 glass doors right to the runway and thinking that’s my man getting off the plane right there. I had told him a few weeks before that he would have to come up to me because I would be so nervous and to me, a non world traveler American, I think all Indians look alike. But that was not the case at all, I knew him right away, I remember saying to myself that’s my man and I smiled, I can remember that like it was yesterday.

Leaving India was hard for me, but not as hard as I thought it would be, maybe it was because after I was with him for 7 days I just knew we were made for each other. Now the hard part begins, for me at least, the waiting part. Now that I have seen him, and been with him for a while, I just want to be with him all the time. From the second I wake up in the morning to the second I go to bed at night I want to be with him, I’m sure I drive him crazy with my phone calls 24/7... lol

In May my mom and I went to see my lawyer and to get the paperwork started for him to come to the US, and we got the worse new (in my opinion). Once the paperwork is done in the US, and that only takes between 4-6 months, that it could be up to 3 years before India will okay him to come here. I think I was depressed for like a week, I could only think about not seeing the love of my life for 3 more years.

I have never been the kind of gal to really tell a guy how I feel or be real open anything, but with Tom I know he is the one for me because I don’t hold anything back. Sometimes I’m sure I overwhelm him with my feelings, but I just cant hold myself back.

The hardest time for me was when he moved from the UK to India in February though. We would Skype every night for hours and talk all day long. In the UK we were only 5 hours difference and he worked nights and I work days so when he would get off at 11pm I would get off at 6pm and we would eat dinner together (over Skype) and chat till it was time for both of us to go to bed. I really took that time for granted, because now we are 9 ½ hours difference and when I’m going to bed he is waking up. It really stinks right now, but I think we are managing it well for the time being.

Don’t get me wrong, our relationship is not perfect by any means, but we are perfect together I think. I do dumb things, let me tell you really dumb things, but we learn and move on. I got myself reading this web site that mad Indian men look so bad, so then I started questioning my fiance, and having doughs in my head. It took him saying to me “I feel like why am I even with this girl if she in not going to trust me? I have work so hard to get you to forget your past and trust me and now your going backwards again!!!” … WOW those were some powerful words let me tell you, I snapped out of that hole I was in real quick.

Someone said to me that there are so many blogs out there that are negative I should blog about positive things, not Indian bashing or anything like that. So over the next year or so I’m going to blog about our relationship and out process as we go though immigration.