It's the little things Tom does that make me feel safe with him

Today I’m in a really really poopy mood and I just cant kick it right now, but when I think of my time in India it puts me in somewhat of a better mood. So that’s what I’m going to blog about today , us in India, it may get a tad boring but its not boring for him and I, and after all the blog is about us right... ;)

As I said in an earlier blog my friend had come to India with me and she brought 2 big luggage bags with her, I had a smaller bag and then one that strapped on my back. As we traveled through India my friend would carry her one small bag and Tom would carry his bag, his book bag, and her large bag with him. When I would see him carrying her bag it made me realize one thing, that we will be okay, that he is here to help me and protect me. Even though he was carrying her bag, and not mine because of the situation we were in, it made me know that this is how my life is going to be he will carry the big bags and I will carry the small bags in life, and I like that.

From the time I was a kid I always wanted to marry a man who would take care of me, a prince charming shall I say. I dreamed of being a housewife and raising our kids and cooking and cleaning things like that. In my real life as an adult all my Prince charming was, was a drunk who cheated on me. So when this awesome man came into my life, who would jump in front of a train for me, I didn’t really know how to handle it at first. Part of me wanted to run away and part of me wanted to keep him all to myself so no one could ever really know how awesome he is, because if anyone ever found out how great he was they would want to take him from me for sure. When I saw him take control and take the bags at the train station, I don’t know what it was but that was how I saw my prince charming, someone who would take care of me.

Its not like I want to be sheltered or not told whats going on or anything like that, but I always wanted to marry someone who could make a decision, take control, and handle things in life. I cant really explain it but its kind of like this for example....

.......If we are having a new bathroom built in our house and the builder comes to Tom and says “I know you wanted the window in the bathroom in the middle of the wall, but its not going to work there, it will work if we put it on the left side of the wall (or something like that)”. I want Tom to say”okay that fine, the left side will work just great”. Even if I had my heart set on the window being in the middle of the wall, if it does not work then it does not work, end of story there is no point in me getting mad about it. Just make the decision and tell the contractor that is fine, no problem.......

I am simple really, I don’t get angry very often, I’m usually pretty happy, and most things don’t bother me. My mom always taught me to not get stressed out about things I cant change, rather they are big things or little things in life, if you cant change them then you cant change them.

When we were in India Tom was just that, my PC (prince charming) he took control of things and things happened!!! There was never a time when I was with Tom that I needed something and Tom didn’t do his best to get it for me. Now that does not mean everything I wanted I got, but Tom tried his best to get it for me.

So its the little things Tom does that make me feel safe with him, especially while we were traveling, but in general life too. Little things like the 2nd hotel we stayed at in Amritsar India was kind of right on a road, when you walked out the doors of the hotel there were no sidewalks just the road. I was already a tad nervous about walking anywhere in India, only because that was our first time we were completely on our own. All the other times we were in cities that at least one of the guys with us lived in or was familiar with, but in Amritsar none of us have ever been there before. One of the times I walked out of the doors of the hotel and boom I was right on the street and a rickshaw and I almost met head to head. Tom kind of grabbed my arm and pulled me back, I’m assuming he saw the rickshaw and saw I was paying no attention at all and that’s why he did that.

At one point in our journey we were in a taxi cab, and he was driving us from Delhi to Agra, and Tom asked him if there was a restaurant along the way we could eat at. The taxi driver says ya sure there is a restaurant right outside of Delhi, oh good great, because we were starving!!!!! Okay picture this, a Tent (a dirty one), with a few folding tables and chairs in front of it, with a “kitchen” inside of the dirty tent, Can you picture it now? We pull up Tom turns around and looks at me and before I could even say anything he says “I know babe”, like he could read my mind. When you see pigs flying is the only time I would eat at this place... Yuck Yuck Yuck... But right there is a great example of how he takes care of me, he knew that I would not eat at a place like that, but he knew I was hungry and my sugar was low and I needed something to eat. So he went into the tent and found me some crackers in a closed container and a bottled water to hold me over till we ate. Finally he did get a us a good restaurant to eat at, but that restaurant was a whole other story... ;)

I said to my friend Juls “I was happy as pigs in mud”

I’m having a really hard time right now being away from Tom. The past couple of weeks have been very hard for me for some reason, I think the separation is finally setting in, that we are apart, and we might not be together for a while still.

This past weekend Tom went to see his friend Leela who is in India for his sisters wedding for a few weeks. I love when Tom is with Leela he is very different when he is with him, and by different I mean a good different. Its like he can be who he really is with Leela, not who “India” wants him to be kind of. The difference between Leela and his roommates is that Leela likes me and knows me, and his roommates don’t know me at all

Since he was with Leela we were able to talked all weekend, he answered his phone every time I call him, I had 100% of his attention when he was with Leela, it was great. Not that he does not give me attention any other time, it was just a different attention this past weekend. I usually know when he is with his friends because he speaks to me differently, and he uses one word answers a lot of the time, but I understand that because there are times when he calls me and I have to use one word answers too.

This past weekend was one of our best weekends since he has been in India though. I said to my friend Juls “I was happy as pigs in mud” when Tom and I got done speaking on Sunday night. I was not feeling very well on Sunday and I really just wanted to talk to him, but when I called him he seemed to be busy, so I just went about my day and eventually took a nap. In the middle of my nap my phone made a weird buzzing noise, I just got a new phone so I don’t know all the noises yet, but it was a message from Tom. This is how I know I love this man, because as soon as I saw his name come up on my screen I got butterflies in my tummy....

I sometimes don’t think he knows how special he is to me, he told me this weekend I am the rock of our relationship, but I believe it takes two of us to be a rock and hold our relationship together. We each put our 101% into this, I put one thing into our relationship and he puts something else in, and at the end of the day it fits into place like a puzzle and it works for US, it might not work for other people but it works for us.

I cant not express to him enough how much I love him, from the bottom of my heart I love that man, I cant see my life without him. At Christmas time he said I hope next Christmas we are together Babe!!! Well I know we will not be together this Christmas but maybe the following Christmas we will be together. Now that I have been with him it makes me want him here for every holiday, but I have to remember that everyday that passes by is just one day closer to us being together.

He wiped the tears from my face and kiss my forehead

Anyone who is in a long distance relationship knows that any time you get to be with each other is super special, every second you spend with that person makes you appreciate them more and more. There is nothing like physically being with the one you love, even if you are with a ton of other people, just sitting next to your love is a great feeling.

The first night we were together in India Tom gave me the most beautiful necklace, I wear it everyday no matter what, but yesterday I forgot to put it on before I left for work. I felt like I naked all day, it might sounds weird, but when I wear that necklace I feel like he is right next to me. I know he is always with me, don’t get me wrong, but that necklace just gives me something to touch and hold on to that makes me feel better.

When we were in India together I think some of my favorite times were on the trains traveling together. Even though there were a ton of people around us, to me it was just him and I on that train traveling. The train was the one spot we could sit right next to each other and actually touch each other in public and not get in trouble.

I remember when we were on the train getting ready to go to the airport in Delhi and the train was full of people. The train is set up kind of like 2 benches facing each other and 3 to 4 people can sit on each bench. The train books for 3 people per bench but that day we had 4 people on one and 3 people on the other bench.

On the bench that Tom and I sat on was a older man sitting Indian style with his legs crossed, me and Tom, then a younger man sitting next to Tom. The guy sitting next to me kept touching me with his dirty feet, anyone who wears sandals in India will have dirty feet, but that does not mean I want your feet touching me. I was almost sitting on top of Tom and at one point I wanted to ask him if we could switch seats, but then I saw the younger guy next to Tom and I thought to myself he probably does not want me sitting next to him ( wink wink).

But to me on that train it was just Tom and me, that’s how it felt to me really, even though there were a ton of people, it still felt like it was just him and I. I think it felt like that because I was laying my head on his shoulder, rubbing his arm with my hand and him and I were just talking and all of his attention was only on me. Not that Tom didn’t pay a lot of attention to me, because he really did, but for some reason on that train ride that morning it was different to me. It was intimate, even with all of those people around, he was speaking to me quietly and we were laughing and just having a little “party” between the two of us.

To tell you the truth I was really trying not to cry on the train, because it was my last full day in India with Tom and I was very sad. When I woke up in the morning I took a shower and I couldn’t stop crying in the shower because I was so upset about leaving him. I tried to pull myself together when I came out of the bathroom but I could still feel the tears welling up in my eyes, and my hands were shaking so much I could hardly pull my hair up into a ponytail.

Tom never tells me that I’m dumb when I’m crying or that I’m being over dramatic or anything like that. He tries to walk me through the crying the best he can when we are not together, but on this day it was different, we were together. He wiped the tears from my face and kiss my forehead and told me everything is going to be okay, we will be together forever soon I promise you Babe. Even though those words made me cry even harder I still felt a sense of relief come over me when he wiped my tears and said that to me, like I knew everything was going to be okay.

Who cares what these people think Babe?

I have never had a guy in my life, besides my dad and my brother, who I could depend on totally till I met Tom. When I was planning my trip to India I had many people say to me what if Tom doesn’t show up at the airport? What if hes just playing with your mind and he is not really going to come to Chandigarh? I guess I really didn’t have anything to say to those people because I never thought he wouldn’t be at the airport. That was just not an option at all really, he had giving me no indication he wouldn’t be at the airport.

But, my favorite thing that people say to me is: How do you know hes just not marrying you to come to the US, I’m just looking out for you by saying that, really I am. Do you think you are looking out for me? Because I don’t see it as someone looking out for me at all, I see it as someone trying to put dough into my head. Your not the first person who has said that to me, and you will not be the last person to say that to me either, I can bet money on that!!!! Don’t get me wrong there are a few people in my life who would say something like that to me who really and truly care about me, but for the most part people are just being noisy.

I don’t feel the need to defend my relationship with Tom at all, and that is the one thing I can tell any couple like us. Do not feel like you have to tell everyone everything or defend that you fell in love with someone. That is no ones business at all, that is between the two of you not between you guys and everyone else.

Many nights Tom has sat on the phone and listen to me tell him about what this person said, or what that person said, or how this person feels about us. One day he said to me “who cares what these people think Babe? Why does it matter you know me and I know you and that’s all that matters really!!!” See I got myself a Smart Indian, he don’t listen to what anyone says, he listens to me and to what I say, not what other people say to him about me.

If you know anything about India you know that they still believe in arranged marriages, and by no means am I saying there is anything wrong with an arranged marriage at all, I’m just saying we chose a different path. Toms sister is doing an arranged marriage and she is very happy with that life and I am happy for her too. I know Tom will do his best along with his father to pick the right guy for her.

Its hard for me to remember sometimes that everything everyone says to me about us getting married, is also being said to him, but really in a much bigger way than me. My parents love Tom they think he is a great guy and they are happy I’m in love with him and we are getting married. But like I said before, India believes in arranged marriages, and that goes for Toms mom and dad also. They would love for their son to marry a nice Indian gal settle down in India and have a great life, just like my parents want for me too. So our parents really think the same, they just want their kids to have a happy life.

Tom has not told his parents yet that we are getting married, and I can understand why completely, but in the beginning of our relationship it was hard for me to understand why he was not telling his parents. In the past I have said to him that I feel like he is living 2 separate lives sometimes, the one all of India knows, his parents, and most of his friends, and then the life he lives with me and a few of his good friends. Do I think he likes living 2 lives? No I don’t think that at all. I know he will tell his mom and dad one day when the time is right, and that will be that, they will know that their son is marring me and life will go on.

In the past we have had many talks about when Tom was going to tell his parents, and this is because until I was in India and saw how it was there I really had no idea how India was. I try my hardest to not say anything to him about telling his parents now because I understand India better now than I did before. But some days it eats Tom away inside, he is really living 2 separate lives for sure, and after a while that gets to be hard on a person. But I don’t want him to tell them before he is ready, If I could be there when he tells them I would without a dough, but Tom knows his parents a lot better than me, and he knows when the time is right.

If you are in the same kind of situation you just have to wait and wait and wait. My friend Chitra said to me one day “India is different Rach, you just have to wait till the time is right and trust that Tom knows what he is doing.” She is in a similar situation kind of, and if anyone knows about waiting it would be her. She is someone I vent to when I don’t understand something, and when Tom has already explained it to me 15 different times.

I just thank God everyday for putting Tom in my life, and for giving him the knowledge to understand me when I am happy, sad, crying, laughing.... I am truly blessed to have Tom in my life and I wouldn’t give him up for anything...

Paperwork paperwork paperwork

Tom always says that its my right to call him as much as I want, and trust me ladies I’m probably a freak when it comes to calling him. But the time difference is so big that I only get to speak to him from about 6am till around 2pm on a good day. That’s only on average 7 to 8 hours in a 24 hour period I get to talk to my fiance. But our lawyer told us the other day that we don’t speak enough??? Really??? I beg to differ with you on this one lady!!! In a 8 hour time period we probably speak something like 1 hour of that, and that does not include texting, emailing, skyping, and instant messaging online. She pointed out to me that we have a 15 or 16 hour gap where we don’t speak at all.

Now I know I am not some hot shot lawyer, and I didn’t got to college for a million years or anything like that, but I do have common sense. Now lets think about this for a minute, I sleep for 8 hours, He sleeps for 8 hours and then as stated above we chat, text, IM, email or speak on the phone for about 8 hours a day. So 8+8+8= 24 right??? I’m just saying if we both lived in the states it would be different we could talk for 16 hours a day, but.... we don’t!!

My advice to anyone who is doing a long distance relationship with someone in another country is to keep very very good records of your communication. If you even think that one day you could see yourself marrying this guy/girl KEEP RECORDS PLEASE. From day 1 of our relationship in the back of my head I was always saying “did you print out your phone records this month Rach? Did you save all the emails he sent you?” I’m not really sure why I did that in the beginning but we did decide fairly quickly that we were going to get married so maybe I just always knew we would get married or something like that, I don’t know. But when I went into the lawyers office for the first time and had all of our phone records, skype records, and emails with me she was pretty impressed with me, not to toot my own horn or anything ;) …

READ.... READ.... READ... Read up on all of your immigration laws where ever you are from. I made sure when I walked into the lawyers office I could almost do her job for her. I guess I didn’t really have to get a lawyer, but one little mistake on the paperwork and that could set you back months and months. I was told by many people that it also looks more legit if you have a lawyer than if you don’t, but I don’t really believe that 100% . I don’t really think immigration looks at rather you have a lawyer or not I think they look at the facts that are presented to them more, but I could be wrong also.

In the US we don’t have to do as much as the person coming to the US, we have to submit some paperwork and get some dumb official things together and make sure the payment is paid in full. The other person has to do a physical with a doctor that immigration recommends, get police reports for everywhere they have lived since they were 16 years old, go do an interview with immigration in there district. They will receive a huge packet of things they will have to do, even before immigration will look at your case.

Now if you have a fiance like I do, and I love him to death don’t get me wrong, but he is on the ummm lets say he likes to press the time to the very last second to do things. He's a guy and I know how they are (some of them not all of them) they like to take there time doing things. But he knows when I say “I have given you 6 weeks to do this and I need it done TOMORROW!!!” he usually gets it done then for me. So on one hand I am a pain in his butt, and on the other hand I’m really just trying to get things done in a timely fashion. You see I can see us in 5 years, where we are going to live, how many kids we will have, even the kids names. He on the other hand has no idea what he is going to eat for dinner, that’s why we are so good together really, he pulls me back to “today” and I make him think about “tomorrow”.

So you see if God wanted us all the same then our relationship would either ALWAYS be living for tomorrow, or ALWAYS stuck just chillin out watching movies. So he gave me to Tom to chill me out and make me relax a bit and he gave Tom to me to get him to think about the future a bit more. We are great together in my eyes, and after all God does not make mistakes right?

Education...

The Indian culture itself is 100% different than the American culture... In the States you graduate from high school and you either go to college and move out of your parents house, or you start working and move out of your parents house. In India most people live with there parents till they get married and even after.

In the States most of our parents have a retirement plan and that’s what they live off of when they are retired. In India the children take care of there parents till there last day, that is one of the best qualities Tom has in him I think. He wants to make sure his parents are taken care of till the end, and I am sure we will be able to do that. Don’t get me wrong, if my parents needed something we would be right there to help them with out a dough, but like I said Americans have one “retirement” plan and Indians have another.

When Tom first told me that we would have to take care of his parents, all I could think of is us living poor to support them. Because I have a lot of Mexican friends here in the states and that’s what they do, they work and work and work and send ALL of the money they make back home. So one day after I had thought about what I was going to say to Tom about how I didn’t want to live poor for the rest of my life I confronted him. I just told him how I felt and what I thought about this subject really. He simply explained to me that one, I over think stuff way to much, and two we would not live poor but that his parents were important to him and they need to be taken. I respect that and after a long conversation I now feel way better about this subject.

In my family very early on my mom and dad probably knew that my brother and myself were not college material, school was not our thing. My parents taught us life skills, how to get a good job, how to budget your bills, how to own our own home and so on. So I grew up, got a good job( not a career but a job), and bought my own house eventually.

In Toms family education was everything!! From day one you were told you would be going to college and that was that, period!!! So Tom graduated from school and went on to college and eventually graduated from college.

So the question has arose between him and I several times about education. When he was a kid he lived in a hostel, and went to what we in the states would consider a private school. They had holidays and some summer off so they could go home but while they were in school they stayed in a hostel that was at the school. I on the other hand when to a public school and lived with my parents while I was in school. Had I gone to a private school would I be different? Had he gone to a public school would he be different? Who really knows, but that’s besides the point. He wants to “ship” our kids to a private school somewhere and I want to home school them. I say “ship” as a joke really and he knows I’m joking too, because we get into little debates about that sometimes.

In the end of course I want to do what is best for our children and I know that Tom wants what is best for them too. I know I will have to compromise on this issue because education is so important to him, not that its not important to me, but this is one subject he is very strong on. After all a relationship is about giving and taking, and I can tell you I get my way most of the time, so when he feels so strongly about something I know it is important to him.

In the Beginning.... 2010

First let me start out by saying I feel if you love someone anything is possible. No distance, no religion, no amount of time, nothing can keep you from being together as long as you have patience. I don’t advice praying for patience, because that only brings more problems into your life, I would advice praying for wisdom instead... hehe

I met my fiance a while back, he was living in the UK and I was living in the US, we had a mutual friend on facebook and from there we began a friendship online. My fiance saw that I was going to India to work in and orphanage and his uncle owns and orphanage in India so we had that in common. We also both have a common interest for orphans in general and in Jesus Christ.

I have come to find out that when you become friends with 1 Indian you very quickly become friends will all of there friends too. I found myself having 5 and 6 friend request a day on facebook from friends of my friends of my friends. I would wake up and check my facebook and have many messages in my in-box most of them very inappropriate and I would just delete them. Don’t get me wrong I’m not stereotyping “Indians” at all, I believe people are just people no matter where you live or what color your skin is, I just happen to come in counter with a few inappropriate Indian boys. I say boys because a real man, no matter where you are from, would not speak to a lady how I was spoken too.

One day I got a in-box message on my facebook and it was from another Indian, I don’t say that being mean at all, I was just used to getting messages so I didn’t think anything of it really and I almost deleted it. But something (God) told me to read it, and it was  very simple he introduced himself to me said that he was interested in orphans like I was and a few other simple things in it. A few days letter I replied to him and then a few days latter he replied to me and one day we started to chat on facebook. I’m not sure what came over me one day as we were chatting, but all of the sudden I said “do you want to Skype one day?” then instantly I followed that up with “but we don’t have too, if you don’t want to.” I was just nervous right after I said that for some reason, and I didn’t really know why???

I think in my head I felt like this was a guy who lived over seas, and what would really come out of this? I had never "internet dated" before, much less a guy in the UK?? and when he told me where he was from, I had never even hear of the city he lived in. Then how would I tell my parents that I met a guy on the internet, and Oh wait... here’s the kicker... he lives in the UK... If you know my parents at all they are computer challenged for sure, we didn’t even get an answering machine in our house till early in 2004.

Anyways, very quickly Tom (My fiances American name) caught my attention, the first time I “saw” him per-say was on Skype, in fact we Skyped for something like 4 hours the first time. Then the next night we skyped again and then he called me on the phone the day after that, and I found myself wanting to know more and more about this guy.

We probably only talked for a week or so before we decided we wanted to be couple. We talked about it and started dating, I told my mom and dad sometime in December about him, I had to slowly start talking about him then spring the whole dating thing on them. My father simple said if your happy than I’m happy, but you know I don’t understand this whole “internet dating” thing cant you just meet a guy around here like normal people? Again that’s my dad who knows nothing about the internet or even cell phones for that matter. He didn’t have anything against Tom he just didn’t understand what we were doing.

I cant even really say for sure when I knew I wanted to marry him but I know it was not long after we started dating that I knew God had put this man in my life for a reason. You see the day before Tom sent me that email, I had gone to church in the morning and my pastor was talking about how we need to surround ourselves with christian friends and Christ like people and how if you are single you need to embrase your singleness. So I went to bed that night and I prayed that God put a christian friend in my life, Tom is a christian too by the way. I joke with my mom sometimes and say I guess I needed to be a tad more specific when I pray, I only said I would like it if I could meet some good Christian people please. I was thinking in Ohio, maybe even around the town I live in, but God sent me someone form the UK... lol...

By no means am I complaining about this at all, I love Tom with all my heart, I believe when God made me and he made Tom he saw us together. In the bible it say a man will leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife, that does not mean never speak to your family again it just means you are starting a new life with your wife and children.

By January we had decided that we were getting married and he was going to ask my father if he could marry me. My dad knew what he was going to do, I kind of informed him of what was going on, my dad only had a few questions for me before he spoke to Tom. He asked me if I loved him? And if I wanted to marry him? I said yes I did love him and yes I do want to marry him.

You should of saw Tom, he was so cute the day he asked my dad if we could get married, and granted it was via Skype because of our situation, but he was looking handsome. You know when you first start dating someone you always try to look your best, no matter if its 6am or 4pm or whatever. I remember Skyping with him when he was in the UK at 6 or 7am and I looked like a million bucks, my hair all done and my makeup on and ironed clothes I would even bush my teeth right before we skyped like he could smell my breath or something. By January I would roll out of bed turn the computer on, forget to even look at my hair, and chat with him. So when I saw him with his button up shirt on and his hair brushed and he shaved, oh my gosh he was looking so handsome.

My dad agreed with us getting married, he just said I want to meet Tom as soon ask possible, because even at this point I have not met Tom in person. Tom was going to be leaving The U.K and going back to India the end of February and I was planning a trip to go to Indian in March. So we planned for him to fly into the city where I was staying and we would travel for about a week together.

I could not wait for March to come, I counted down every day and every night, till we got to meet. Once I got into India that was when I really know I was head over heals in love with this man, because he was so good with me. When we (my friend when to the orphanage with me) were at the airport in Delhi I talked to Tom probably 10 times before we got to the orphanage. He is such a patience man with me, at one point I wanted to cry, because I was exhausted to begin with and overwhelmed too. He told me to calm down everything will be okay, you are fine Babe, remember God is always with you.

Finally the day came when we could meet!!!! Oh my gosh I was so excited just to touch him and look at him, not over the computer either. When I saw him I didn’t know if I was going to cry or smile or be in shock or what. I remember standing outside of this little airport in Chandigarh Indian and looking through the 2 glass doors right to the runway and thinking that’s my man getting off the plane right there. I had told him a few weeks before that he would have to come up to me because I would be so nervous and to me, a non world traveler American, I think all Indians look alike. But that was not the case at all, I knew him right away, I remember saying to myself that’s my man and I smiled, I can remember that like it was yesterday.

Leaving India was hard for me, but not as hard as I thought it would be, maybe it was because after I was with him for 7 days I just knew we were made for each other. Now the hard part begins, for me at least, the waiting part. Now that I have seen him, and been with him for a while, I just want to be with him all the time. From the second I wake up in the morning to the second I go to bed at night I want to be with him, I’m sure I drive him crazy with my phone calls 24/7... lol

In May my mom and I went to see my lawyer and to get the paperwork started for him to come to the US, and we got the worse new (in my opinion). Once the paperwork is done in the US, and that only takes between 4-6 months, that it could be up to 3 years before India will okay him to come here. I think I was depressed for like a week, I could only think about not seeing the love of my life for 3 more years.

I have never been the kind of gal to really tell a guy how I feel or be real open anything, but with Tom I know he is the one for me because I don’t hold anything back. Sometimes I’m sure I overwhelm him with my feelings, but I just cant hold myself back.

The hardest time for me was when he moved from the UK to India in February though. We would Skype every night for hours and talk all day long. In the UK we were only 5 hours difference and he worked nights and I work days so when he would get off at 11pm I would get off at 6pm and we would eat dinner together (over Skype) and chat till it was time for both of us to go to bed. I really took that time for granted, because now we are 9 ½ hours difference and when I’m going to bed he is waking up. It really stinks right now, but I think we are managing it well for the time being.

Don’t get me wrong, our relationship is not perfect by any means, but we are perfect together I think. I do dumb things, let me tell you really dumb things, but we learn and move on. I got myself reading this web site that mad Indian men look so bad, so then I started questioning my fiance, and having doughs in my head. It took him saying to me “I feel like why am I even with this girl if she in not going to trust me? I have work so hard to get you to forget your past and trust me and now your going backwards again!!!” … WOW those were some powerful words let me tell you, I snapped out of that hole I was in real quick.

Someone said to me that there are so many blogs out there that are negative I should blog about positive things, not Indian bashing or anything like that. So over the next year or so I’m going to blog about our relationship and out process as we go though immigration.