I smiled to myself and thought wow we really have come a long way

            Its funny how things change in a relationship, how you get to know the other person so well that you know what ticks them off and you know what makes them happy and smile. TOM, and I say that with caps for a reason, knows me so very well, it sometimes amazes me how well he knows me.

He knows the little things that put me over the top, like I cant go to bed knowing he is angry with me, or when we are having an argument and he turns his phone off (that’s the worse for me), or that I love it when he sends me an email or when he gets on my FB and post things for me. He knows I don’t like to be called buddy or pal, and yet he still does it just to get a little grrrr out of me.

I know he likes it when I take pictures of the things we are doing in Ohio and of the places I go and send them to him, I know he does NOT want our bedroom painted in Pink. I know he does not like it when I cry when we are fighting, or for that matter anytime I cry, I know he likes my hair strait, so I try to wear it strait for him as much as I can.

            Those things are the things that keep our relationship going on a daily basis, and keeps us on our toes. A “perfect” relationship would be a boring relationship don’t you think? Who wants to be with someone who is perfect, I sure know I don’t want to be.

            The only thing we fight about is being jealous and I don’t even know why we fight about that, it’s so dumb to me, I don’t understand why I get so jealous!!  My mom said a little jealousy is a good thing in a relationship, so I guess its good, but by no means would I ever want jealousy to come between him and I. I love Tom way too much to let something dumb like that come between him and I.

            When I look back at the little arguments we have, I have to laugh sometimes, because I just think to myself why did we fighting over that? And then I think did I really say that? Why did I say that? Really Rach come on and think before you speak sometimes!!!! I have to say I hide nothing from Tom though, I think that’s why when we fight I say what’s on my mind because I truly tell him everything, but in know way would I ever intentionally say something to hurt his feelings, Im not like that, and I know he is not like that either.  

            Sometimes I think I tell him too much though, not because I don’t want to hide anything from him but because Im sure he really does not care about every little thing I do in the day. This is a typical conversation we have at like 7am everyday…

Rach: Hi babe how was your day?

Tom: Fine, how was your night last night?

Me: Super Great…I ate tacos for dinner with my mom and dad, and then I went shopping for a little bit with my mom to Target and I bought a new shirt, a wallet, and a pair of shoes. Then we turned TV on and watched Design Star (tv show) for an hour, then I fixed some popcorn for everyone, packed my lunch for work in the morning, fed the cats, and Benny (my cat) Babe he’s getting so fat he needs to go on a diet. Can you put cats on a diet?

Tom: I guess so

Rach: Anyways so then I got on the internet and looked at my FB and logged on to your FB and messed a few of our friends, then put my PJ’s on, text you before I went to bed, turned the TV on in my bedroom and eventually fell asleep. Then I woke up ate breakfast, took a shower, got dressed, and called you baby.

Tom: Great, what’s new baby?

Rach: Oh nothing much I just work today till 6pm then I’ll go home and eat dinner with my parents, watch some TV, I’ll probably take a walk too, and then go to bed. You mean to tell me you didn’t do anything today Babe?

Tom: Umm no not really…

            Do you notice anything wrong with this conversation? Ummm like maybe the 1000 words I spoke and the 10 words he spoke??? I look back and think, “Does my boyfriend really care that I turned the TV on? Or that I blew my hair dry before putting my makeup on this morning?” Ummmm Probably NOT…  Lol …

But then we have days when he talks and talks and talk!!! Like I had said before when we first met each other we would skype for hours and hours and then we would talk on the phone on top of that too. So maybe he does care about that stuff, who knows right? But Lord knows even if he didn’t care about the little things I do all day Im probably still going to tell him, that’s just me and in the words of Tom “I don’t want you to change I want you to be exactly who you are, that’s who I fell in love with.”

            I just love how I can look back at the first time we spoke and then look at the last conversation we had and smile. I can smile because I see how much we have grown in the past year and how much we really do love each other.

            When we first met Tom told me something that shocked me kind of, he said that most Indians don’t say please and thank you. They never say please can I have something they just expect to get what they want, and they don’t say sorry unless it was something they did really wrong. Well at least that’s how I understood it when he explained it to me when we first started dating. Just today Tom said sorry to me for something, and when he said that to me it reminded me of the time when he said they don’t say sorry. I smiled to myself and thought wow we really have come a long way, and that makes me happy….

I will embrace the ones that like me and pray that the ones who don’t will

I just miss him so much; words can’t even explain how I feel some days. When Im having one of my “I miss you days” I really don’t want to speak with anyone but him. I can try to explain how I feel to my mom but truly she can never understand how I feel, she has never been away from my dad for more than 4 or 5 days at a time. I’m going on 4 months of not seeing him, and at this rate I wont get to see him again till January or February.

He told me the other day to remember we are in the same boat going to the same place, that’s hard for me to remember sometimes. I know he has the same feelings that I do, he just doesn’t cry like me or express his feelings the same way as I do, but he still has them.

Oh gosh we had such a great talk today, it was just a really nice talk. Some days we just have a general talk, I miss you I love you I miss you again. Not today, it was a great talk, and it was a 2way talk, not just me talking the whole time he talked too. Don’t get me wrong he does talk, but he’s a guy, and sometimes he just has nothing to say really. He said today that he cant believe how I have made him open up and talk, he has never been a real big talker but he wants to talk with me he wants to tell me things that are going, and that make me happy. 

Sometimes I tend to refer to myself as “fat” or “big” and he does not like that at all, not one bit. He said something very cute to me today, he said that no one knows you like I know you and no one can see exactly what I see in your heart. He said he does not like it when I say I am fat or big or talk down about myself because he loves me and that’s all that matters and I am beautiful to him. I have never had someone care about me as much as he does, besides my family of course, and not very many people in my life have told me I am beautiful that feels nice to hear especially from the guy I love with all my heart.

As we were talking today he said to me, if I were any other gal Im sure we would have been broken up by now. That kind of shocked me, but in a way I almost felt the same way as he did, because if he was not as awesome as he is I don’t think we would have lasted either. If someone would of said to me a year ago I would be marring a man from India, I would have probably said yeah right. Now as I look back I couldn’t imagine my life without Tom, who would I talk to all day, who would I have to speak with when Im upset, who would I have to have little arguments with? I just couldn’t imagine not having him really.

 He makes me smile when he says the things I do are special, but I don’t think they are special its just what I do. I think like this, I treat people the way I want people to be treated, so I do little things for people that I would want done for me. That’s the best way I can explain it I guess, I just treat people with respect.

Just think about it like this, emails are special, and yes I enjoy getting emails, but I would enjoy a card in the mail too. I think when I think about it, all you have to do is turn your computer on and write a letter, not that that’s not special don’t get me wrong. But think how you feel when you open your mailbox and you have letter or a little package in it that puts a smile on my face instantly, and that’s how I would like other people to feel too.  

That’s how I want our friends to feel, like we took the time to send them something, especially because most of them live half way around the world. I want his sister and his parents to know that we were thinking about them when we go on vacation or when it’s Christmas time by sending them something.

I have to say this, Tom does have some of the best friends though, they are amazing, well the ones that I have spoken with at least, they accept me very well. They never make me feel like Im the “American” with their Indian friend, they speak to me like I have been friends with them for a long time. That makes me feel good, because a lot of the people don’t accept us yet, but one day they will Im sure of it. So for now I will embrace the ones that like me and pray that the ones who don’t will one day!

We were just standing there looking out into the street...

Our first day in India together…

Today Tom and I were talking about our first day in India together… The one thing that sticks out in both of our minds is when we were on Nigel’s porch. Everyone was in the house and Tom and I were standing on the porch, and for the first time we were all by ourselves, truly for the first time…

We were just standing there looking out into the street, and Tom had his arm around me, and I was holding his hand. It was almost like I was dreaming, like I was really not standing next to him, I just knew I was going to wake up and be home in my bed alone. But that was not true, I was standing right next to him for the first time, I could touch him, smell him, kiss him, just be with him.

That was about the only time after that we were all alone, but it was the best time, really the whole time we were together was my “favorite” time, but his time is one of the best times.

The only quote that comes to my mind is “when you have finally found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you want the rest of your life to start right now”. I love this quote because it’s exactly how I feel about Tom, I want my “forever” to start now, today, right this minute.

Today Tom and I got into a huge fight, and we don’t fight that much I don’t think, but today it just hit how very much I love him!!! Before I was with Tom when I would fight with my bf I would leave and not speak with him for days, but I’m different with Tom, I can’t stand it when we fight. It makes me crazy to not be able to talk it out, to just hang the phone up and not speak with him makes me go crazy.

My grandma always said “Rach when you meet the one, you will just know he’s the one, your life will be different with him, you will feel different with him. Do you feel different with this one Rach? If the answer is NO, then he is NOT the one.” I can say without a doubt that Tom is the one, I feel differently with him, about him, around him, I love him differently.

Soon he and I will be “all alone” again, for the very first time, and I can’t wait for that day…

Tom asked me today why do I love him so much?

Tom asked me today why do I love him so much? I really couldn’tanswer that question, well not with words at least. I have example but notwords really… Like I love how me answers his phone when I call, even if I havecalled him 7 times in 7 hours he always answers his phone like it’s the firsttime I call that day. He never says I’m bothering him, he might ask me to callhim back in a little bit, but he never makes me feel like I was the last personhe wanted to speak with.

The other day I just couldn’t get enough of him, I reallywanted to just talk to him all day long, and never stop. Finally when I knew itwas about the time for him to go to sleep I called him and told him good nightand I will speak with him in the morning. About an hour later I get a messageon my phone and it was from him and he just said I know you couldn’t get enoughof me today so I just wanted to say good night one more time. Its stuff like thatthat makes me love him more and more every day…

I can honestly say I do love him more today than I didyesterday and I’m sure I will love him more tomorrow than I do today. I don’t believethat God would bring him and I together for no reason, just for “this” to fallapart. I don’t believe that at all, I know without a dough him and I are goingto get married and that we are made for each other.

My dad asked me the other day how Tom and I speak all day onthe phone, what do we have to talk about for hours and hours? I told him thatwhen you have a relationship based on distance that what you have to do. Totell you the truth there are very few days that we don’t have something to talkabout, well usually I speak and he listens (lol) but there are days when he isa talker too don’t get me wrong.

We have problems just like any other relationship too. Justbecause we are miles away from each other don’t think we don’t fight sometimesor get jealous or irritated with each other. No relationship is perfect and I’mnot clamming that ours is at all, but who wants to be with someone who isperfect anyways???

I have never been a jealous person before, but there issomething about Tom that makes me jealous, not in a bad way, but in a “I don’t wantanyone else to realize how awesome you are” kind of way. But then I have tothink about it differently, do I trust Tom? Of course I do, more than anyonejust about in the world (besides my family) , so if I trust him then I have tothink that he’s not going to leave me for someone else, I have to have moreconfidence in myself , my relationship, and my fiancé. 

Tom makes me feel like I am the most beautiful person in theworld, he does not care that I have little chubby fingers or I’m not a twig, oranything like that. He loves me for me, like I love him for him, I wouldn’t changeanything about our relationship we are right where God wants us to be. God knowswe can handle being apart right now, and I know this will only make us astronger couple when we are finally together every day.

I feel like I can be me when I am with Tom, I don’t have tobe someone different, I can just be Rachel. I have never had that before in mylife, I always had a guy who controlled me and wanted me to do exactly what hewanted when he wanted and he didn’t care how it made me feel at all. Not Tom heis 101% different than that, he lets me be me, without any strings tied orropes attached, I can just be me!!!

If you are lucky enough to meet a guy like I have, all I cansay is keep a hold of him and treasure the time you have with him. I thank Godfor every minute of every day I get to spend with My Love, not a minute goes bythat I don’t think about him, and I can’t wait for us to be together soon…..