The better half....

Tom messes with my head so bad, and he thinks its funny, but let me tell you in the beginning I didn’t think it was so funny. Now I have his game down, and I mess right back with him, he even said to me today he needs to find new ways of “messing” with me because Im catching on now.

Ill give you an example of what he does to me…

Me: hi can I speak with Tom please

Toms Friend: Ummmm ohhh (tom in the back ground saying tell her tell her) he's out with his girlfriend right now.

Me: Oh okay, that’s great just tell him to call his other girlfriend when he gets home.

Toms Friend: Ummm ooookay Ummm hold on

Tom: ahahahahahaha Hi baby I just got in from my date with my “other”.

Me: Oh that’s just great baby did you have fun?

Tom: oh yes loads of fun….

You see now its funny to me but 4 months ago it ticked me off so bad when he did that. Plus now he has a friend named Ganesh, and Ganesh is probably the only one of his friends who sticks up for me. So he really doesn’t mess with me much anymore, except when he is in a real cheeky mood.

I was looking on the Internet today and I came across something kind of interesting. It was the vows that are said in an Indian Hindu Wedding Ceremony, or actually a South Asian wedding I think it was to be exact. They were stated as followed:

1. I will consider my wife to be The better half. I will look after her just as I look after myself.

2. Accepting her as in-charge of my home, I shall plan things in consultation with her.

3. I will never express dissatisfaction about any shortcomings in my wife. If there are any, I will explain them to her lovingly. I will support her in overcoming them.

4. I will always have faith in my wife. I will never look at another woman with wrong intent, nor have an illicit relationship.

5. I will be affectionate and treat my wife like a friend.

6. I will bring home all my income to my wife. The household expenses will be incurred with her consent. I will always make an effort to ensure her comfort and happiness.

7. I will not find fault or criticize my wife before others. We will sort out our differences and mistakes in privacy by ourselves.

8. I will have a courteous and tolerant attitude towards my wife. I will always follow a compromising policy.

9. If my wife is unwell, or is unable to fulfill some of the responsibilities or through some misunderstanding behaves wrongly, I will not withdraw support or refuse to fulfill my responsibilities towards her.

Now lets break these vows down

#1: I shall be considered The Better Half! Super like, hehe, but I think of us more as equal. We are partners in this game of life, and I can’t play without him and he can’t play without me.

#2: This for sure is right! I am going to be in charge of the home, I will make sure the laundry is done, the dishes are washed, the home is clean and neat. That’s how I was raised  my mom was a stay at home housewife and that’s how she taught me to be. So #2 is great for us.

#3: Hmmm… I wouldn’t call them my “shortcomings” because that sounds kind of degrading towards me I think. I would say that when I do something that Toms does not like he will tell me, and I will tell him when he does something I don’t like. Then we work together to make a better “US”.

#4: Tom has so much faith in me, he knows I would never cheat on him or leave him, and I have to say the same for him I have so much faith in him too. Because our relationship is based on God.

#5: I don’t want to be treated like a friend, I want to be treated better than a friend! But this is not a problem for us he treats me just awesome, and I treat him the same way. He is much more than a friend to me, he is my best friend, my husband, the love of my life.

#6:  SUPER LIKE!!!! Ahaha… The one thing Tom and I spoke about in the beginning is finances. Im a saver and he's a spender! So we really go good together we think, because I will get him to save when we are married and he will get me to loosen up and spend a little bit. He said one day that I will be in charge of finances because women are naturally better at them then men are. Growing up how I did I have to agree with him on that one. Don’t get me wrong he will have plenty of money to spend, and we will talk over all of our big decisions in life, but when it comes to paying the water bill I will do that.

#7: Tom is super great at this, when we fight it is between him and I in his eyes. Me on the other hand I usually tell one person, but not always, I like to work it out between him and me too. My mom said to me one day, she will always take my husbands side, because I will always come back to her, but he is could leave and not come back one day and she would never want him to leave and not come back.

#8: We compromise well I think, well I think we do, but I seem to get my way a lot so I don’t know, maybe we (I) will need to work on this one… hehe

#9: Hmmmm….. I have to think about this one…. (wink wink)

I looked for vows from a wife to a husband and I couldn’t find them, so Im thinking originally it was a one-way street that Tom and I have made into a 2-lane highway. I don’t need any vows to tell me that my fiancé will be there for me and or that I will be there for him. As long as we have God as the center of our relationship we will be fine! I can tell you this that I love that man with all my heart and soul and I cant wait till we can take our 2 lives and become 1……

hands.....

“When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then is subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should never part. Because this is what love is. Love is no breathlessness, it is not excitement, and it is not the desire to make every second of the day. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away.”

When we were in the last hotel in Agra one night we wanted to go down to the hotel restaurant and eat something. That was the first time that we held hands, not the first time since we had been together but the first time as a couple we just grabbed hands and held them.

When I first saw him in Chandigarh I held his hand, that’s what he told me, but I don’t even remember holding his hand because I was so overwhelmed by him at that point. He had a green shirt on and jeans and was looking so handsome. That’s all I remember about him right at that point because I just wanted to stay right then and there forever, just him and I walking down the walkway in the airport. Then when we were in Amritsar I held his hand but that was because I was overwhelmed by the amount of people we were with and I didn’t want to get lost. Not that he would ever loose me I just wanted to be right next to him, because he is my comfort zone.

But when we were in the hotel, walking down the to the stairs we held hands…. (Pause and sigh just thinking about it) We held them for the first time, the first time that we didn’t have to, or that I wasn’t overwhelmed, or that I can remember.

Thinking back you know me and him have never been on a date, we have never been out to eat, or to the movies, or shopping alone, or anything. I often wonder what our “first” date will feel like. The first time we are totally alone, 100% on our own and WE are not with anyone else, we can go anywhere we want to go and do anything we want to do.

Will we be in India or in the US or somewhere else? Where will we eat at? Or what movie will we see? Will we even see a movie? What does it feel like to be sitting across from him in a restaurant and to have all of his attention, 100% of it? Not that I don’t have his attention now or he does not have mine, there is just always someone around each of us when we are talking or skyping, that it never feels like we are never totally alone. That is on both of our parts too, either Im at work or he's at his flat with people, or Im with my mom, or he's at the Internet Cafe. I just want to know what its like to have him sitting in front of me and to have all of his attention. Not have to worry if we are talking to loud or if he can really hear what I just said or if I can hear what he just said. Im talking about just Him and I alone on a date….!!!!

I cant even finish this right now….