“When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then is subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should never part. Because this is what love is. Love is no breathlessness, it is not excitement, and it is not the desire to make every second of the day. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away.”
When we were in the last hotel in Agra one night we wanted to go down to the hotel restaurant and eat something. That was the first time that we held hands, not the first time since we had been together but the first time as a couple we just grabbed hands and held them.
When I first saw him in Chandigarh I held his hand, that’s what he told me, but I don’t even remember holding his hand because I was so overwhelmed by him at that point. He had a green shirt on and jeans and was looking so handsome. That’s all I remember about him right at that point because I just wanted to stay right then and there forever, just him and I walking down the walkway in the airport. Then when we were in Amritsar I held his hand but that was because I was overwhelmed by the amount of people we were with and I didn’t want to get lost. Not that he would ever loose me I just wanted to be right next to him, because he is my comfort zone.
But when we were in the hotel, walking down the to the stairs we held hands…. (Pause and sigh just thinking about it) We held them for the first time, the first time that we didn’t have to, or that I wasn’t overwhelmed, or that I can remember.
Thinking back you know me and him have never been on a date, we have never been out to eat, or to the movies, or shopping alone, or anything. I often wonder what our “first” date will feel like. The first time we are totally alone, 100% on our own and WE are not with anyone else, we can go anywhere we want to go and do anything we want to do.
Will we be in India or in the US or somewhere else? Where will we eat at? Or what movie will we see? Will we even see a movie? What does it feel like to be sitting across from him in a restaurant and to have all of his attention, 100% of it? Not that I don’t have his attention now or he does not have mine, there is just always someone around each of us when we are talking or skyping, that it never feels like we are never totally alone. That is on both of our parts too, either Im at work or he's at his flat with people, or Im with my mom, or he's at the Internet Cafe. I just want to know what its like to have him sitting in front of me and to have all of his attention. Not have to worry if we are talking to loud or if he can really hear what I just said or if I can hear what he just said. Im talking about just Him and I alone on a date….!!!!
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