Its hard for me to sleep right now, I am up for most of the night just laying in my bed looking at the ceiling. I told tom last night that even though it was hot when we were in India and that made it hard to sleep some nights, I still slept the best because I felt safe with him. I felt like he would do everything in his power to protect me if anything happened. I have to say that was probably the last time I can remember totally sleeping well and not being up all night.
I can’t wait for the time in my life when we are together every night, and I can have that feeling again of security and the comfort knowing he will protect me. For the most part I don’t really care where we live at, that’s not my concern right now, it’s just being together that I am looking forward too.
Now this is our 2nd Christmas together, and I pray to God that our 3rd Christmas can really be spent together. Every time I go into a Christmas store I buy a new ornament for our tree, I love Christmas ornaments so much. This past year I have bought a few for our tree, I am hoping we will have a place of our own by next year somewhere. I figure even if we are living somewhere besides the US we can still have Christmas decorations up, it might not be as popular wherever we move to have Christmas things up, but that’s okay I don’t care about that.
When I think about Christmas in a place like India, I just think “but there’s no snow??” And it might be “winter” time in India right now, but it’s certainly not cold in India right now! Ehhh what’s snow anyways? Just something you have to scrape off your car, wear boots in, and freeze in all winter… I guess it’s kind of over rated this whole snow thing anyways… Who needs snow at Christmas time? We can make snowflakes wherever we live and put them in the windows =) …
My mom has been so cute this year about Christmas presents. She said to me a few weeks ago “What does my future son want for Christmas this year?” that made my day, I couldn’t stop smiling all day long. My parents are very accepting of the choices I make in my life, don’t get me wrong they will be sad when we move away, but they also want there daughter to be happy.
In some aspects last Christmas was harder for me than this Christmas, I feel like I am more secure with us now than I was last year. Take today for example, he has been waiting for a phone call tonight and he told me he would call me back when he could. No problem, because he explained to me what was going, instead of just not answering the phone. I am extremely happy with how we have grown, because we are communicating with each other now.
The “old” Rachel would be asking all of the where, what, why, who questions that I would of asked before. Not now, I was fine with this, and I was fine with it because he now does his part too. His part is simply picking up the phone and saying that he is busy or he is waiting on a call and he will call me back, and he actually calls me back then. So with him working harder for us and me working harder for us, we are good now.
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