Learning how to word things
Hmmm this is something that Tom and I both have to work on!
We both need to learn not to get upset with each other when we need to speak to
each other and learn to make the words come out right. I have a hard time
sometimes when Tom tells me something and I totally take it a different way
than he met it to be.
He said to me the other day that he was going to Arkansas
and I took it like he was telling me he was going and that was that! That
crushed me, I want to be part of decisions he makes not told he’s going to do
something, but he was actually telling me he wanted to go and he wanted to talk
about what dates he could do. I took it one way and he thought he was saying it
one way and it ended in both of us being upset with each other. If he would
have come to me and said something like “Hey babe I really miss my sister and
would like to go see her before I start working, what do you think?” I would
not have had such a problem with it but he made me feel like I’m not included
in this. On the flip side if I would of not gotten so upset in the beginning
maybe he could of reworded what he said to me and we would have been fine.
I never would want my husband to not go see his family, I
would like to be invited to go with him that’s all, but in the end I would
never keep him from his family. Likewise he would never keep me from my family
either, I wouldn’t want him to tell me I can’t go home and see my family if we
move away.
There is a big difference in being single and being married!
When you are single you come and go as you please, you don’t have to consult anyone
on the decisions you make, you just decide and do what you want. When you are
married you have to consider the other person, because after all when you say
your vows to each other you say 2 become 1. You are not the only person who
your decisions affect anymore; you have your other half to think about
also.
When one of my friends calls me and asked me if Tom and I
would like to hang out with them, or go bowling or whatever I always say to
them “let me ask Tom and I will get back to you”. Now because my friends
understand that my husband and I are “one” they say things to me like “hey go
talk to Tom and see if you guys want to go out to dinner with us tomorrow”. My
friends and family understand that Tom and I are a package deal, where he goes
I go and where I go he goes.
We have now been married and together for over 4 months and
we are starting to really learn each other’s way and actions that we were not
able to see when we were apart. Tom can just look at me and tell I’m in a bad
mood, I have something to tell him, I had a great day or just about anything. I
can tell you if he had a good day as soon as I walk in the house and say Hi to
him. If I get hi babe and not HI BABY I MISSED YOU, I know he had a bad or sad
day. When we were apart he was very good
at keeping his moods from me, but eventually I learned what to listen for to
see if he was in a good or bad mood. Me on the other hand I can’t keep it
inside, I can’t even get Hi out without tiers flowing down my face if I’m
upset.
Memorial Day weekend was this past weekend and we had such a
great weekend together! I have to say this was the best weekend so far we have
had together after getting married. We had enough alone time that it was great,
but we also had some time with our friends and family too. I love this man so
much I can’t imagine life without him, he is my heart and soul, he is my ying
to my yang.
I will leave you with the quote Tom said to me last night “no
matter what I do, no matter what I say, I am bankrupt without your love!”
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