The past few days I have felt like I was not important to Tom, but not really not important, but kind of like other things were more important than me. So on Sunday I said to him just that, that I didn’t feel important, and when we were done having our little “issue” (that’s what we call our arguments, Issues, lol) I didn’t think anything else of it and I went about my day. Tonight Tom says to me that I really hurt his feeling when I said that, but by no means did I say that to hurt his feeling at all, I wouldn’t really do anything to hurt his feeling actually. But over the past few days I have seen a change in him, a good change, like what I said really did hit home and he is trying to be a better him. I use the word “Better” because I would never want him to change I love him for who he is and what he is, but there is always ways of bettering ourselves I think. I try on a daily basis to better myself for him. If I know there is something that bothers him I try to improve that, maybe still do it but in a different way, a less irritating way maybe.
Unless you are in our shoes you will never truly understand how we feel, you can sympathize with us but not empathize with us. This is the most wonderful time in my life and also the hardest time in my life so far. From meeting Tom, to going to India and being with the orphans, and actually meeting Tom, to going through the immigration stage with Tom. All along Tom has been there for me though, never leaving my side, and we know that is a God Thing 101%!!!!!
I know that in the long term of our life this is nothing, this is just a stepping-stone we have to get over, but in my head it’s a big stepping-stone. Some days I can see the other side of the stone and some days I feel like I walked 100 steps only to be pushed back 150 steps. All along Tom is right next to me though, he my rock in my life, he is the one who holds us together. He said tonight when I am sad he is there to life me up and when he is sad and down I am there to life him up. That is so true too, when I am having a bad day he is right there for me doing everything he can do even if it means laughing at me because Im being dumb about something.
He reassures me daily that he is here for me and we are in the same boat together, not a doubt in my head thinks we won’t be together. I can truly say up to this point in my life I have never felt like this with anyone.
God has put some really awesome people in our path to help us with this process, from people who are in the same boat, to good friends around me, and good friends over seas. Every one of these people play a special roll in our lives! I am blessed that Tom has good friends in India who except “Us”, because I was not sure he would have anyone to speak with when he moved back home. I can see his friends in India coming around, from what Tom says they are getting used to me “being around” and call him daily. He had a great support system in The UK, his friends there took a liking to me very quickly and I am good friends with all of them now.
I love Tom with all my heart and I have to say I think we get along about 98% of the time, but no relationship is perfect, nor would I want us to be. When we were talking today he said to me that he’s sure there is be things that we will have to get used to about each other, but we have come to far to let little things stand in our way. I can say Im sure I know him better than just about anyone else, because we are on the phone and we are forced to speak. Its different than if we were sitting right next to each other, their cant be pauses and delays we have to keep speaking. I like that though, I like that I know him better than anyone else, and he knows me better than anyone else. That’s my favorite part of Tom, I can tell him anything and he does not get mad at me, he takes me as I am….
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