I had a dream last night, and it was a scary...

I have never been more confident in “US” than now! Not that before I was not confident, I am just more confident now! Once we sent our paperwork into immigration I felt like our lives were actually going to start this year.

When I read about other people’s journeys with immigration it gives me hope, and understanding that everything is going to be all right with us. Actually I don’t much think about the process anymore like I used to, I found “thinking” about it made the days go by slower and slower. I am 100% confident in our relationship, I know we are going to make it, so why fret and think about it all the time when there is nothing I can do about the waiting list we are on.

Just yesterday Tom called and we chatted for about 15 minutes or so and he asked me who do I love him so much? Why do I stay with him through everything we have been through? I told him I couldn’t answer that question with words! There are no words to describe how much I love him; I just love him, end of the store. Its like trying to tell a blind person what the color blue looks like, you cant tell them what it looks like, because they are blind! My love for Tom is the same way, I can’t tell him how much I love him because words are not enough to express my love for him. 

I had a dream last night, and it was a scary dream too me. My dream took place in like WW2 time and some people and I were on a mountaintop and we had to jump down the mountain with a rope. When the rope got to a certain point the people at the top let the rope go and you died. I was allowed to call Tom and our children before I had to jump, and I remember what I said to our children on the phone, I said: don’t worry guys mommy loves you, and your daddy is going to take great care of you! I told Tom I loved him and I would see him in heaven soon!

Then I woke up and I was crying and I just had to call Tom and hear his voice right then and there… I didn’t tell him about my dream because he was headed to the bus station, but he said to me “are you okay babe” and I told him I was fine and then we said good-bye. The sound of his voice made me feel safe again and I was able to fall back asleep for a while, as it was something like 5am and I had to wake up for work at 6:30am.

Its little things like that, that make me know we are made for each other, the simple sound of Toms voice soothed me so much and made me feel safe when I was so upset.  He is the first person I want to run to when I am upset because he makes me feel safe, even if he cant hug me or hold me right then he can still make me feel safe. There was not a time when we were together in India when I didn’t feel like he would protect me; he never left my side even for a minute.

India could have been a very overwhelming time for me, but Tom made it feel like a piece of cake, even when I was not with him, he still made me feel secure. He reminded me that God would protect me, and keep me safe in his arms. I love him so much and I cant wait for the time when we are together forever….